That is what will be expected of Rocky from our new church in Sale Creek as told to him by Wally. I'm not sure what Wally's last name is but who cares right? People named Wally do not need a last name because their first name is so fun to say! Wally Wally Wally. Ok.
They will be voting on him February 15th I think but they have talked lots and it's pretty much a done deal. It will be bi-vocational but I think that makes me happy because I'm not a huge fan of change. Just ask my wardrobe. This way he can keep working in this new steady job with insurance but still pastor.
We have been up there a couple of times and the people are really nice. We even ate at this one lady's house (I'm pretty sure she has a name but it wasn't "Wally" so I don't remember it...)I'm just gonna tell ya, she knows how to cook food.
It seems far away but it only takes me 30 min. or so to get there and the drive is very easy. Most people drive that far to work every day and I'll only be driving it a couple days a week. Plus, if you subtract the amount of time it takes me to get to my church now...it will only take an additional 20 min to get to the new one. Can you tell I have been trying to rationalize the driving time in my head? Wally.
So there ya go!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Seriously? Nah, just kidding.
It looks as though we may be attending a new church soon (don't ask me about it on here because I'm feelin' too lazy to explain and have very few details...maybe in another post? K.) Anyway, I have decided this will probably be a good time to start having adult conversations with people...the mature serious all the time kind...instead of the ones I usually have that sound a lot like this one I had with one of my friends at church last night:
My Friend: So Christi, I have been trying to call you all week now but you won't answer your phone and you won't call me back.
Me: Well My Friend, I don't usually have my volume on.
My Friend: Why?
Me: Because I went to a comedy show a couple of months ago and there was this hypnotist there and now every time I hear a phone ring I bark like a dog and shove a banana in my ear.
My Friend: Seriously?
Me: Nah, Just kidding.
My Friend: I left you a voicemail
Me: Don't check those either.
My Friend: Well that is ridiculous. Why have a phone then? I think you need to stop being like that and turn up the volume on your phone.
Me: Well I think you should turn the volume down on your mouth.
My Friend: Fine, I will just come to your house.
Me: You were not invited and I won't answer the door. I'm not even sure I like you.
My Friend: Well I am very sure I do not like you.
Me: Great. Glad we agree.
My Friend: Oops. I'm late for choir practice. Call me tomorrow?
Me: Of Course!
Nonsense right?
I have a hard time transitioning into seriousness so I'm thinking I should just start my conversations with the intention of being completely serious and fight the urge to say things that will make other people ask if I am being serious. I really don't want to scare these poor new people or make them cry or have Rocky come home and say, "there were 138 complaints in the complaint box at church this morning and guess how many of them have your name in the subject line?"
Then I would be all like:
Are you serious?
and he would be all:
(insert face of despair and disappointment)
and I would be all:
I was kidding!
and he would be all:
Christi, you can't be telling people that "The Message" bible was written by the devil. They didn't know you were kidding.
Then I would be all:
I wasn't kidding.
and he would be all:
Seriously?
and then I would say:
Nah, just kidding.
See how complicated that could get?
My Friend: So Christi, I have been trying to call you all week now but you won't answer your phone and you won't call me back.
Me: Well My Friend, I don't usually have my volume on.
My Friend: Why?
Me: Because I went to a comedy show a couple of months ago and there was this hypnotist there and now every time I hear a phone ring I bark like a dog and shove a banana in my ear.
My Friend: Seriously?
Me: Nah, Just kidding.
My Friend: I left you a voicemail
Me: Don't check those either.
My Friend: Well that is ridiculous. Why have a phone then? I think you need to stop being like that and turn up the volume on your phone.
Me: Well I think you should turn the volume down on your mouth.
My Friend: Fine, I will just come to your house.
Me: You were not invited and I won't answer the door. I'm not even sure I like you.
My Friend: Well I am very sure I do not like you.
Me: Great. Glad we agree.
My Friend: Oops. I'm late for choir practice. Call me tomorrow?
Me: Of Course!
Nonsense right?
I have a hard time transitioning into seriousness so I'm thinking I should just start my conversations with the intention of being completely serious and fight the urge to say things that will make other people ask if I am being serious. I really don't want to scare these poor new people or make them cry or have Rocky come home and say, "there were 138 complaints in the complaint box at church this morning and guess how many of them have your name in the subject line?"
Then I would be all like:
Are you serious?
and he would be all:
(insert face of despair and disappointment)
and I would be all:
I was kidding!
and he would be all:
Christi, you can't be telling people that "The Message" bible was written by the devil. They didn't know you were kidding.
Then I would be all:
I wasn't kidding.
and he would be all:
Seriously?
and then I would say:
Nah, just kidding.
See how complicated that could get?
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sold!
Ok, someone is going to have to come up with better television programming in the morning! I used to wake up, turn on the news and yell at my kids until they got ready for school. Now, since I am going to have to stop watching the news because it makes my head hurt, I am having to channel surf to find something that will keep me from going back to sleep. This morning I discovered that most of my favorite channels show nothing but infomercials before 8 a.m. Since I am a sucker for infomercials and QVC could talk me into buying ANYTHING! (I mean seriously, who buys candy apples through the mail? I know! But they almost had me this past Christmas..you should all be thankful that I broke the hypnosis before I found my purse.) Anyway, if I had any money, this morning I would have totally bought...
This is the AMAZING HAAN. It is a steamer mop that according to the infomercial kills every germ within a 2 mile radius. It could have been purchased (if I would have called within the first 5 min. after the show) for the low low price of $99.99. But wait! Just to make it easier they will break that up into 3 easy to pay installments of $33.33. They are practically giving it away, right?!
And then I would have bought this...
This is the Best of Philosophy skin care which can be found at bestofphilosophy.com..clever eh? They didn't have me at hello on this one. I had to watch it a little longer than the other one just because I'm pretty convinced that most skin care products are the same just some are more expensive. But then they said, "This item was featured as one of Oprah's favorite things a few years ago". Umm, Hello? Oprah loves it! SOLD! Don't get me wrong. I am far from being an Oprah follower. Don't even watch the show. However, this woman has e-ver-y-thi-ng and I'm guessing isn't easily impressed so when she says it is one of her favorite things I pay attention! I bought the flip video for Kayla because it was one of Oprah's favs and I have to tell ya, it is one of my favorite things too! Oh, so it was offered at the introductory price of $29.95 but that is just for the trial sizes.
And lastly, (mostly because it was time to take the kids to school) I would have bought this...
Yeah, Jillian Michaels has teamed up with NordicTrack and they have this new cool treadmill that includes these cool workout cards designed by Jillian to make you cry alot and possibly vomit. I would probably buy anything exercisey she peddled, if I were an exerciser, because she is a beast and shows no mercy. I admire that. This would have only set me back $1599.00 but I'm pretty sure that is without tax and shipping.
Luckily, none of this was an option and it was time to drop the kids off. By the time I got home I was able to settle into my regular programming while I drank a gallon of coffee.
This is the AMAZING HAAN. It is a steamer mop that according to the infomercial kills every germ within a 2 mile radius. It could have been purchased (if I would have called within the first 5 min. after the show) for the low low price of $99.99. But wait! Just to make it easier they will break that up into 3 easy to pay installments of $33.33. They are practically giving it away, right?!
And then I would have bought this...
This is the Best of Philosophy skin care which can be found at bestofphilosophy.com..clever eh? They didn't have me at hello on this one. I had to watch it a little longer than the other one just because I'm pretty convinced that most skin care products are the same just some are more expensive. But then they said, "This item was featured as one of Oprah's favorite things a few years ago". Umm, Hello? Oprah loves it! SOLD! Don't get me wrong. I am far from being an Oprah follower. Don't even watch the show. However, this woman has e-ver-y-thi-ng and I'm guessing isn't easily impressed so when she says it is one of her favorite things I pay attention! I bought the flip video for Kayla because it was one of Oprah's favs and I have to tell ya, it is one of my favorite things too! Oh, so it was offered at the introductory price of $29.95 but that is just for the trial sizes.
And lastly, (mostly because it was time to take the kids to school) I would have bought this...
Yeah, Jillian Michaels has teamed up with NordicTrack and they have this new cool treadmill that includes these cool workout cards designed by Jillian to make you cry alot and possibly vomit. I would probably buy anything exercisey she peddled, if I were an exerciser, because she is a beast and shows no mercy. I admire that. This would have only set me back $1599.00 but I'm pretty sure that is without tax and shipping.
Luckily, none of this was an option and it was time to drop the kids off. By the time I got home I was able to settle into my regular programming while I drank a gallon of coffee.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
What I Am Not Going To Talk About
As much as I would like to stop taking my Political Turrets meds and let loose on the new administration, I will not. I refuse to mock or point out the obvious lack of experience Barak has. I will not say that the only CHANGE he has brought to this country thus far is the CHANGE that the lefty loonies paid for when they donated to his campaign. I will not quote him as saying,
"What an opportunity we have to change this country," the Democrat told his senior staff the day after his inauguration. "The American people are really counting on us now. Let's make sure we take advantage of it." And take advantage of it he has!
"On Thursday and Friday, Obama, with an executive pen in his left hand, overruled eight years of Bush administration policies, signing several executive orders on national security and abortion funding."
I will not tell you how thrilled sarcasm intended...IF I was talking about this I am that during this time of financial trouble when people are struggling to pay their bills, have lost their house and/or their job, ...our new president considers sending tax payer dollars overseas to help them kill babies, one of his first and most important priorities.
And while I'm not talking about it I'm wondering how shutting down a prison that is full of terrorists (just to appease people in other countries who hate us) and bringing those terrorists into the United States makes sense. Aren't we supposed to be trying to keep them out?
This is certainly the CHANGE I expected. It isn't looking any different to me. Ok, well maybe he looks better in swim trunks than George W would and his kids are adorable but that is about it. I'm just going to go sit in the corner and HOPE this country is strong enough for the CHANGE. I don't think anyone wants the man to fail. I just want him to hurry up and finish paying back his supporters and get his advisors to tell him how to handle the real important issues.
I am done not talking about this.
"What an opportunity we have to change this country," the Democrat told his senior staff the day after his inauguration. "The American people are really counting on us now. Let's make sure we take advantage of it." And take advantage of it he has!
"On Thursday and Friday, Obama, with an executive pen in his left hand, overruled eight years of Bush administration policies, signing several executive orders on national security and abortion funding."
I will not tell you how thrilled sarcasm intended...IF I was talking about this I am that during this time of financial trouble when people are struggling to pay their bills, have lost their house and/or their job, ...our new president considers sending tax payer dollars overseas to help them kill babies, one of his first and most important priorities.
And while I'm not talking about it I'm wondering how shutting down a prison that is full of terrorists (just to appease people in other countries who hate us) and bringing those terrorists into the United States makes sense. Aren't we supposed to be trying to keep them out?
This is certainly the CHANGE I expected. It isn't looking any different to me. Ok, well maybe he looks better in swim trunks than George W would and his kids are adorable but that is about it. I'm just going to go sit in the corner and HOPE this country is strong enough for the CHANGE. I don't think anyone wants the man to fail. I just want him to hurry up and finish paying back his supporters and get his advisors to tell him how to handle the real important issues.
I am done not talking about this.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Why Aren't You Happy Dancing?
I just installed a door knob all by myself. YES! I KNOW! It was one of those, "oh forget it, I will just do it myself" moments. Jade's room wouldn't shut all the way and for some reason the dog decided that it looked like a nice place to tinkle when it was too cold outside so it was either get rid of dog....
awwww, that is his scared look...just kidding buddy.
-OR-
install a new door knob which I would have done a long time ago had it occurred to me that we have 3 doorknobs just waiting to be installed. Why do we have a supply of spare doorknobs you ask? Talk to the closet doors that have been sitting on my back porch for 4 years waiting to be put in. My next project. :D
So anyway, I did it all by myself! Without directions because the directions were too confusing and mostly in a foreign language.
Now you can start happy dancing.
awwww, that is his scared look...just kidding buddy.
-OR-
install a new door knob which I would have done a long time ago had it occurred to me that we have 3 doorknobs just waiting to be installed. Why do we have a supply of spare doorknobs you ask? Talk to the closet doors that have been sitting on my back porch for 4 years waiting to be put in. My next project. :D
So anyway, I did it all by myself! Without directions because the directions were too confusing and mostly in a foreign language.
Now you can start happy dancing.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I'm Lost
I'm totally pumped that 'Lost' is back. However, I just read an article that says Season 5 will be even more complicated!
I have to watch last season's finale tonight before I start on the new season. Does anyone know what happened to Claire?
I have to watch last season's finale tonight before I start on the new season. Does anyone know what happened to Claire?
A New Era
I don't know...maybe I'm just that much of a hater. It's not even that I do not like Barak Obama. I have to admire a man who can convince a country full of people that he is capable of leading with no experience. I do hope that his "advisers" have the experience because technically they are the ones calling the shots here but I digress.
I have tried to avoid the news lately because I can't decide whether to laugh or be frightened. Most in the media are acting like they are 3 years old and just got a pony for Christmas. The problem is, you grow up and realize the pony leaves large piles of poo in the yard and smells bad. The fantasy never really lives up to the reality. After catching a little bit of the euphoria from the crowds of people who caught a glimpse of our new Rock Star Prez on the news yesterday this video came to mind and it cracked me up. Tell me this doesn't remind you of the cult-like followers of Obama. Oh, and Obama would be the leopluradon that makes a noise but never really says anything and of course candy mountain represents the illusion he is trying to sell us. Guess I will be Charlie. haha.
Now, I'm going to find a hobby.
I have tried to avoid the news lately because I can't decide whether to laugh or be frightened. Most in the media are acting like they are 3 years old and just got a pony for Christmas. The problem is, you grow up and realize the pony leaves large piles of poo in the yard and smells bad. The fantasy never really lives up to the reality. After catching a little bit of the euphoria from the crowds of people who caught a glimpse of our new Rock Star Prez on the news yesterday this video came to mind and it cracked me up. Tell me this doesn't remind you of the cult-like followers of Obama. Oh, and Obama would be the leopluradon that makes a noise but never really says anything and of course candy mountain represents the illusion he is trying to sell us. Guess I will be Charlie. haha.
Now, I'm going to find a hobby.
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