Second Degree Creepiness

It was a dark and stormy night... Not really. That is just how most creepy stories start.

I have been sick for the past few days so I haven't really wanted anything to do with the computer but I just had to tell you about this guy, for 2 reasons really

1. Because it is entertaining
2. So there will be some sort of record on file if and when I have to press charges. haha

When my kids play outside they think it is hilarious when one of them comes in first and locks the door so the other one can't get in. Of course then they have to knock and knock until someone notices and opens the door for them.

So, it didn't seem odd when I heard a knock on the door a couple of days ago because they had been playing outside and because it wasn't a normal -knockknockknock- tap that strangers use when they knock on your door...it was more of a -KNoCKknockKnoCKKNOCK- funny knock that people who are familiar with you and your house use. You know what I mean. Just think about it for a second.
Anyway, had it been the regular stranger knock I would have totally looked outside before opening the door and probably not bothered to answer it but since it was a funny knock I thought it was a kid so I opened the door right up. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that I had on my p.j.'s and my hair hadn't even been brushed yet..nevermind that it was 4 p.m....don't judge. I only tell you that because that would have been another reason not to open the door for a stranger.

In true Ralphie fashion, my dog goes nuts when someone knocks on the door so when I opened it he was right there ready to tear someone's face off (or jump up and down in the air like Michael Jordan on crack) After grabbing the dog I look up and there stood a StRaNgEr! Holy Cow! That was unexpected. At first I thought he might be the repo man but they don't knock do they? LOL

Anyway, I was all...ummmm, hi?
And he says, "hehe, Ralphie sure is a good guard dog isn't he?"

Now, at this point I was a little more relieved because who would know my dogs name if they didn't know someone in my family, right? wrong! So of course I was all, "haha, yeah right. Hardly a guard dog" and then he asks if Rocky is home.

So ok...he knows my dogs name and he knows Rocky. Whew. Then Rocky is all..."Grrr, who is that, Grrr." He likes strangers coming over as much as me..and he was playing the XBOX and who likes to be interrupted when they are playing the XBOX? Nobody, that's who! And I was all, "IDK..some guy asking for you." I wasn't worried. Rocky knew this guy, right?

Rocky opens the door and didn't say, "HEY BROTHER!" Like he would have done if he had known the guy so again, StRaNgEr DaNgEr!

Rocky came back in and told me that it was one of the guys who had been working next door at our neighbors house and he wanted to borrow a tool. I know you are thinking, whew! that makes sense. He isn't a crazy stalker. Sure, if you discount the fact that HE KNEW MY DOG'S NAME and didn't use the stranger knock like he should have then o.k. BUT, that was 2 days ago.

This morning I let my dog out to go do his business. Even my dog has manners and uses the correct knock when he is ready to come back inside...so when he started knocking to come in I opened the door right up. I looked outside and WHO WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME AND WAVING? YES! The same creepy dude! He wasn't on my porch this time but I'm not sure that makes it any better. He was next door in my neighbor's carport...staring right at my house...into my door...and waving WAVING! YOU DO NOT KNOW ME MR. CREEPY GUY! And why are you staring at my house? Why are you not working? Are you watching us? I really need to go to the store...but do I need to take my whole family and my dog? I am not very comfortable leaving them at home now, knowing you have nothing better to do than learn my dog's name and stare at my house just in case I open the door so you can wave.

So yeah, I'm totally telling on you. Now you all know what to tell the cops if I go missing. I watch those Lifetime movies. I know that the nice-guy is hardly ever really nice. If it was just dumb luck that you happened to be staring at my house at the same moment I opened the door then my apologies but Mister, that is 2 strikes. 2 times you have creeped me out. Maybe we just live in a time when friendly = creepy. Bad luck for you I guess. One more strike and I will take you out! I just completed Kung Foo Panda on the XBOX and am feeling pretty confident about my new KungFoo skillz. Don't make me use them.

On a lighter note:
We made our rice crispie treats last night. Can you say Delicious? They don't cut into nice little squares too easy though. It's like one giant treat.

That is all.

We Call Him DELICIOUS

I couldn't leave Ralphie out of the Christmas pictures! I just won't even bother telling you how stinkin' cute he was this morning opening his Christmas present. Of course he has already decapitated his new teddy bear but we didn't expect it to last very long anyway.

Christmas Party At Mom's

I didn't get as many pictures at this one so someone will have to share with me. I had several versions of the grandkid picture but this one was the best.

Christmas Party At Dad's

Festive Holiday Creation...Take Two

After the underwhelming Christmas Cookie incident we decided to try our luck with the Gingerbread House...

It started here


Next, I (yes, me) assembled the house with much care and patience (aside from the almost fit I had when the roof kept sliding off) it looked like this


And finally, after all the candy was stuck on with only a few insults hurled around by the girls (that is ugly, you aren't doing it right, that's a dumb idea, shut up) it ended up looking like this



All in all it was pretty successful. We decided that next year we will have 3 houses and a little competition. The only problem is we can't figure out how to eat it and are not sure we even want to.

Oh, after I took these pictures Kayla used the little gingerbread snowmen to create a snowman crime scene in front of the house. She took a picture. Maybe she will show you.

Zero Cookie Decorating Skillz

The original plan was to bake and decorate some festive Christmas cookies and take them to the neighbors. That was until the cookies ended up being the size of EZ Bake Oven cookies and we found out that we have zero cookie decorating skillz. Here is what they looked like...


Now you have to keep in mind that these cookies were on a regular sized paper towel. That is just how small they were. We couldn't shame ourselves by delivering these cookies so we ate them. They were pretty good for baby cookies with ugly faces.

For Your Entertainment Pleasure

Here's a snipet of the Christmas Concert. I only got Jade because Jordan was sitting with her back to me. Figures they would be sitting on opposite sides...My apologies in advance for the grandma shake my hand was doing while filming and to any innocent parties who were not aware that they would be posted on a blog.