Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Second Degree Creepiness

It was a dark and stormy night... Not really. That is just how most creepy stories start.

I have been sick for the past few days so I haven't really wanted anything to do with the computer but I just had to tell you about this guy, for 2 reasons really

1. Because it is entertaining
2. So there will be some sort of record on file if and when I have to press charges. haha

When my kids play outside they think it is hilarious when one of them comes in first and locks the door so the other one can't get in. Of course then they have to knock and knock until someone notices and opens the door for them.

So, it didn't seem odd when I heard a knock on the door a couple of days ago because they had been playing outside and because it wasn't a normal -knockknockknock- tap that strangers use when they knock on your door...it was more of a -KNoCKknockKnoCKKNOCK- funny knock that people who are familiar with you and your house use. You know what I mean. Just think about it for a second.
Anyway, had it been the regular stranger knock I would have totally looked outside before opening the door and probably not bothered to answer it but since it was a funny knock I thought it was a kid so I opened the door right up. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that I had on my p.j.'s and my hair hadn't even been brushed yet..nevermind that it was 4 p.m....don't judge. I only tell you that because that would have been another reason not to open the door for a stranger.

In true Ralphie fashion, my dog goes nuts when someone knocks on the door so when I opened it he was right there ready to tear someone's face off (or jump up and down in the air like Michael Jordan on crack) After grabbing the dog I look up and there stood a StRaNgEr! Holy Cow! That was unexpected. At first I thought he might be the repo man but they don't knock do they? LOL

Anyway, I was all...ummmm, hi?
And he says, "hehe, Ralphie sure is a good guard dog isn't he?"

Now, at this point I was a little more relieved because who would know my dogs name if they didn't know someone in my family, right? wrong! So of course I was all, "haha, yeah right. Hardly a guard dog" and then he asks if Rocky is home.

So ok...he knows my dogs name and he knows Rocky. Whew. Then Rocky is all..."Grrr, who is that, Grrr." He likes strangers coming over as much as me..and he was playing the XBOX and who likes to be interrupted when they are playing the XBOX? Nobody, that's who! And I was all, "IDK..some guy asking for you." I wasn't worried. Rocky knew this guy, right?

Rocky opens the door and didn't say, "HEY BROTHER!" Like he would have done if he had known the guy so again, StRaNgEr DaNgEr!

Rocky came back in and told me that it was one of the guys who had been working next door at our neighbors house and he wanted to borrow a tool. I know you are thinking, whew! that makes sense. He isn't a crazy stalker. Sure, if you discount the fact that HE KNEW MY DOG'S NAME and didn't use the stranger knock like he should have then o.k. BUT, that was 2 days ago.

This morning I let my dog out to go do his business. Even my dog has manners and uses the correct knock when he is ready to come back inside...so when he started knocking to come in I opened the door right up. I looked outside and WHO WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME AND WAVING? YES! The same creepy dude! He wasn't on my porch this time but I'm not sure that makes it any better. He was next door in my neighbor's carport...staring right at my house...into my door...and waving WAVING! YOU DO NOT KNOW ME MR. CREEPY GUY! And why are you staring at my house? Why are you not working? Are you watching us? I really need to go to the store...but do I need to take my whole family and my dog? I am not very comfortable leaving them at home now, knowing you have nothing better to do than learn my dog's name and stare at my house just in case I open the door so you can wave.

So yeah, I'm totally telling on you. Now you all know what to tell the cops if I go missing. I watch those Lifetime movies. I know that the nice-guy is hardly ever really nice. If it was just dumb luck that you happened to be staring at my house at the same moment I opened the door then my apologies but Mister, that is 2 strikes. 2 times you have creeped me out. Maybe we just live in a time when friendly = creepy. Bad luck for you I guess. One more strike and I will take you out! I just completed Kung Foo Panda on the XBOX and am feeling pretty confident about my new KungFoo skillz. Don't make me use them.

On a lighter note:
We made our rice crispie treats last night. Can you say Delicious? They don't cut into nice little squares too easy though. It's like one giant treat.

That is all.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

We Call Him DELICIOUS

I couldn't leave Ralphie out of the Christmas pictures! I just won't even bother telling you how stinkin' cute he was this morning opening his Christmas present. Of course he has already decapitated his new teddy bear but we didn't expect it to last very long anyway.




Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Party At Mom's





I didn't get as many pictures at this one so someone will have to share with me. I had several versions of the grandkid picture but this one was the best.

Christmas Party At Dad's








Monday, December 22, 2008

Festive Holiday Creation...Take Two

After the underwhelming Christmas Cookie incident we decided to try our luck with the Gingerbread House...

It started here


Next, I (yes, me) assembled the house with much care and patience (aside from the almost fit I had when the roof kept sliding off) it looked like this


And finally, after all the candy was stuck on with only a few insults hurled around by the girls (that is ugly, you aren't doing it right, that's a dumb idea, shut up) it ended up looking like this



All in all it was pretty successful. We decided that next year we will have 3 houses and a little competition. The only problem is we can't figure out how to eat it and are not sure we even want to.

Oh, after I took these pictures Kayla used the little gingerbread snowmen to create a snowman crime scene in front of the house. She took a picture. Maybe she will show you.

Zero Cookie Decorating Skillz

The original plan was to bake and decorate some festive Christmas cookies and take them to the neighbors. That was until the cookies ended up being the size of EZ Bake Oven cookies and we found out that we have zero cookie decorating skillz. Here is what they looked like...


Now you have to keep in mind that these cookies were on a regular sized paper towel. That is just how small they were. We couldn't shame ourselves by delivering these cookies so we ate them. They were pretty good for baby cookies with ugly faces.

For Your Entertainment Pleasure

Here's a snipet of the Christmas Concert. I only got Jade because Jordan was sitting with her back to me. Figures they would be sitting on opposite sides...My apologies in advance for the grandma shake my hand was doing while filming and to any innocent parties who were not aware that they would be posted on a blog.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Have Yourself A Merry Little Meltdown

Man, I just got home from church and everyone is so stressed out! Christmas is not suppose to stress you out. Well, right now I'm a little stressed but I plan on being done with all that by Sunday evening and enjoying my Christmas week. I still have to clean my house...wow, I think I just cried. Did I ever tell you how much I hate cleaning my house? And I bought a gingerbread house that the kids are going to assemble but we have to fit it into our schedule first...and we are making Christmas cookies for the neighbors AND I bought the stuff to make rice crispie treats. Sounds like fun, eh?

Sounds like a lot of fun but I don't think I like gingerbread. We are going to be super busy for the next week so I'm not sure when we are going to make all of these treats. But I bought them so I totally get a Good Mom Gold Star for it.

I wonder if what that song says about turkey and mistletoe is true...Everybody knows....a turkey and some mistletoe...help to make the season bright... That song. Yeah, I have never tried it but I guess it is worth a shot. If it doesn't brighten up the season I could just re-gift it for one of my boy/girl gifts.

I'm going to finish my shopping over the next couple of days so if I'm not around that is why. If I do not return by Monday...call 9-1-1 cause it's possible that the scuffle I get into with that grandma in the slipper sock section of Bath and Body took me out and stuffed me in her trunk.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

That's Good Stuff

BAGHDAD - An Iraqui journalist who hurled his shoes at President George W. Bush in a fit of outrage was hit in the head with a rifle butt and had an arm broken in chaotic scenes when he was leapt on by Iraqui security officers, his brother said on Tuesday...

There is more to this story but this part made me laugh out loud. If you don't get it, read it again and picture it. It's quite hilarious. Or maybe I'm just easily amused this morning. In OUR country this guy would not go to jail, would sue the police officers and win millions of dollars...even though he broke the law. I like Iraqui justice better. haha

Monday, December 15, 2008

Detox! Stat!

Hi. My name is Christi and I'm a Christmas party foodaholic. I didn't think I had a problem. I thought I would be able to stop whenever I wanted to. I was wrong. I....am....an.....addict.

So Christi, what brought you here today?

Well, it all started around Thanksgiving. You know...Yummy delicious food having Thanksgiving? I bought into the lie that it was only once a year and I should indulge myself, over and over and over. You'd think I would have learned my lesson and I did for a week or so. But then came the Christmas parties.

And what happened at these "parties".

There was food. Lots and lots of food. I can't totally blame the Christmas parties. There were also birthday parties and shopping trips that require you to eat out. Just so much food! It is everywhere! And the hosts spend so much of their time cooking, how can I say "no" to the food?

That is a good question. What couldn't you just say no?

It was like, "Hey Christi, would you like some of this delicious cheese dip?"
and me, "Why yes, I would love to do a double back-flip scissor jump round off into your yummy delicious cheese dip."
and then of course you have the main course which, if you get a little of everything, will fill your plate to overflowing. And...AND...being a member of "The Clean Plate Club" I couldn't not finish it all off.

Umm, What is the "Clean Plate Club?"
It's a club where you HAVE to eat everyting on your plate or you will die. Or, at the very least really bad things will happen to you. Don't look for logic here. There is none. It's just a fact.

Then, "Christi, would you like some yummy delicious cheese cake or chocolate cake or red velvet cake or pie or maybe a little of all."
Me, "Of Course!" because anything less would be rude.
I just thought to myself that I would make up for it by sticking to a peanut butter sandwich the next day and calling it even. Which would have probably worked had I not had yet another Christmas party to go to the next night. I'll spare you the details. Just refer back to the first scenario.
Maybe I could have undone some of the damage had I not had to go grocery shopping on Sunday.
How can you go grocery shopping and not come home and eat? Yeah, you can't.

So we are back to why you are here today.

I'm here because I need an intervention!! My jeans are screaming at me. My gut is angry. I can't sleep. I HAVE MORE PARTIES! I WILL EAT AGAIN! What am I going to do?!

Well, for $19.99 (plus shipping and handling) we can sell you our "New Year's Resolution" package that includes the "I'll go on a diet in January and lose 20 pounds by summer" if you are interested.

Does that work?

Not really.

Figures. Nevermind then. Thanks for nothing. I'm gonna go eat a cracker and a piece of lettuce. Hopefully I will even out again before the party on Saturday.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Merry Christmas From My Family To Yours

THE MOST Hilarious thing I have seen in months!
You will want to scroll down to the bottom of the page to cut the music before playing this. Consider this your Christmas card from my family to yours!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Toomuchtodoitis

Toomuchtodoitis- pronounced (too much to do itis) is a common illness year round but is especially contagious during the holiday season. This illness is not life threatening unless you are over the age of 35, have a family history, breathe air, eat popcorn or shower daily. Symptoms include but are not limited to:

1. Constant feeling of frustration
2. Knowing there is something you should be doing, buying, accomplishing...but can't for the life of you remember what it is.
3. Eating Doritos for breakfast
4. Walking around your house in circles...talking to yourself.
5. Nervous unproductive energy
6. Spend 30 minutes complaining about something you have to do that would have only taken you 20 minutes to finish.
7. Brain Paralysis. Toomuchtodoitis can cause your brain to shut down completely and make you unable to do anything that requires thought so you sit on the coach and watch the latest "Survivor" episode instead.
8. Eating Ice Cream for lunch
9. Giving your dog the evil eye because he gets to lay around and do nothing.
10. Making an 'exit strategy' list so you will be prepared with a good excuse as to why you have to leave that Christmas party that you feel obligated to go to but have one million hundred other more important things that need to be done. (Hush family, I'm not talking about your parties.)
11. Blogging when there are at least 3 other things that should be finished...FINISHED, not started, in the next 2 hours.

If you have any of these symptoms you should not call your doctor because that is not on your list of things to do today and he will probably want to see you and you definetley do not have time for that. Instead, you should just suck it up...quit complaining and DO IT. Seriously Christi, get off the computer and DO IT. Now. Go.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Oh Noes! Another Teenager In The House








Jordan is officially a teenager today! Happy Birthday Jordan!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Let's Talk

I'm having a very rushed and stressful day and when this happens I tend to talk to myself a little more than usual. In an effort to clear my mind I thought it might be therapeutic to have this discussion here and be done with it.

First I would like to address my eyebrows:

Eyebrows, really? How do you grow so fast? I cannot keep up this kind of maintenance. I am really thinking about doing away with you all together if you can't control yourself better than this. Is that really want you want? Think about that before you answer. If anyone has a reason to rebel it is my legs. Hold on now stems...I was bragging on you. That was not an open invitation for you to complain. It's winter. Consider yourself in hibernation.

Face, you are ridiculous. How old do I have to be before you stop breaking out like a 14 year old? Yes, you could get more attention but if you think you are too good for soap and water you can get over yourself. I don't have time for these diva issues. Just relax. I'm sorry you are getting older but reverting back to your teenage years just makes you look silly. Grow up.

Coffee, my true love. You are killing me. I love you, you know this but you are wrecking my pearly whites. We are going to have to strike some sort of compromise. When all I want for Christmas is Crest White Strips something is wrong. Awww, come on now. Don't look at me like that. I know it is not fair to start putting conditions on our friendship after all of these years of being BFF's. I know were it not for you I would be in a coma. You know what, never mind. You are forgiven. Pretend we didn't have this conversation.

Dear RMS coaches, yes, I will have to pick Jordan up from practice early today because I have to go to a sports banquet tonight (that I totally forgot about hence my mental breakdown). Let me forewarn you though. If you put my kid on the bench for the entire game on Friday because of my issues...I will make you cry...a lot. I am still trying to forgive you for making her sit on the bench for the entire game last night because she was sick and missed the last one. You have no idea how close I came. You are lucky I love Jesus. That is all.

and lastly I would like to address my entire wardrobe....

Look, I know you are tired. I know that I have kept you through 3 cycles of being in style, out, in, out...but you have to come through for me again. I do not know what I am going to wear. I'm sure whichever one of you I choose you will want to pitch a fit and rent yourself in half but I beg you...hang in there. One day I will let you retire or you will die, whichever comes first.

Now, don't we all feel better?! Good talk guys. Now let's get back to work!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Most Excellent!

Yesterday was a good day. Don't get too excited because it probably won't mean much to you but I thought I would share anyway.

A couple of posts ago I expressed my thoughts in hoping that Corinne was voted off of Survivor. Well, I missed the original airing on Thursday but was able to catch it on Friday. I won't lie. I was looking a pretty bad for my buddy Matty (even though he is not my favorite he is in my top 2) and I was getting nervous but in the end, after all the lies and scheming by Bob and Corinne...Corinne was sent packing! Yes! Go ahead. It's o.k. You can do the happy dance. Do It. I'll wait.

Also,

We have had this gift card for Outback for a few months and last night Rocky decided he wanted to use it. I didn't tell him that I had already eaten enough at dad's birthday dinner to last me for the rest of the weekend because I didn't want to hurt his feelings...so we went.
If you have ever stood by a door and waited to be seated for almost an hour you know how unfun that is. The greeter said, "30-40 mins." which was pretty bad but we ended up waiting more like 50 mins. which in Outback time is really no big deal. What is Most Excellent about this experience is that since they made us wait a little longer than promised, the manager gave us a free appetizer! FREE. In Outback money that is the price of a small goat for a starving family in Uganda. On top of that they were really putting on the customer service show. I had 2 refills sitting on my table and had only half finished my first Diet Coke. The manager even offered a free cold brew. haha. No Thanks. But I'm sure that would have made a drunkard pretty happy, yes? And, they doubled the size of the ribs Rocky ordered. He couldn't eat them all and I couldn't finish my sandwich because of the giant plate of FREE cheese fries we ate. So we took the rest of it home...asked for a take home container and the waiter brought us 3 containers a free loaf of bread and a cool Outback bag to tote it all in. Yes, we were special because I saw lots of people taking their leftovers out without the cool bag.
Amazing Right?! I thought you would think so. That is why I am sharing. Rocky kept watching the time and the door to see when the perfect time would be to go to Outback in the future (if someone gives us a gift card) but I'm thinking I would rather wait that extra 10 min. and get great service and free stuff!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Come Baaaaack!!

I MISSED THE GARBAGE MAN 2 WEEKS IN A ROW!! How is this possible? It is not a man job to take the garbage to the road? 2 weeks now I have left this man job for the man and 2 weeks now the garbage man has passed without picking up my trash because the trash is still sitting in my trash can IN THE YARD.

Now I will be the first to say to my kids, "hush up...eat your poptart for dinner..there are kids in China who only wish they had poptarts." But come on! This is the worse! You can't miss the garbage man who only comes once a week! It is December. The month of extra trash. You miss a week you can't catch up! I fill that can up to the top every single week and now I have 2 weeks worth of backup. man o man o man o man....I need a nap.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Have Gas!

I love that title. I couldn't help myself.

I filled up my tank for $25.00! Who would have thought a few months ago that gas would be back around the $1.50 zone?! I'm loving it. Truly. I just want to drive around for no reason because I can. Well, not really. I hate to drive around for no reason. I hate driving around when I have a reason. But...IF I did like it then it would be great. I do have that 'too good to be true' feeling though. It makes me want to keep topping off my tank because when gas starts to go back up I will be sad again.
I think it dropped so much because I finally broke down and bought 2 of those energy saving light bulbs. Granted they were buy one get one free but still. I'm convinced that my efforts to save the planet has caused some sort of 'pay it forward' moment in the cosmos and the planet is thanking me.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Monkey In The Middle...On Strike

I did my best to wrangle up a Christmas get together date but it fell through so I'm passing the baton to someone else....

I am NOT available on the 12th or 13th or 18th (Christmas Concert)or 20th(Dad's party)

Jordan has basketball games on Tuesdays and Fridays but they are over by 5:30 so it shouldn't be a big deal

I personally do not care if we do it on a weekday but I only speak for myself. Everyone else will have to chime in on their own behalf.

Let's not put this off any longer than we have to or else it will be stressful and not fun. Focus people. If you work...check your calendar and just Say When.

Christmas Concert 2009

Jordan and Jade will be playing in the Christmas Concert on December 18 @ 7:00 p.m. at the Middle School.

You are all invited.

In The News...

I haven't watched the news much since the election because it is just too depressing but I did watch this morning because I had to see who won the run-off election yesterday in Georgia.
In case you didn't know or care, Saxby Chambliss won the run-off for state senate. This is why I love GA. We love our Republicans. I did vote because I'm a responsible citizen that way. What I didn't know is that there were 4 seperate run-off's in GA. Don't you hate voting for people you have never heard of? There were 2 seperate slots for judges and since they are suppose to be non-partisan it didn't give me any hints as to who was the guy for me so I made my decision based on the most scientific process available....I picked the guy with the most clever sign. Some guy named Brian House had all his signs made up in the shape of a house and I thought, "that's pretty clever". So I voted for him. I'm kinda thinking now that maybe he was not the right guy but if not, I blame the guy with the boring signs.

In other news...

I just heard this morning about the shooting at Toys R Us in California on Black Friday. 2 men are dead. What toy was that important people? From what I gather 2 women were fighting over something and their husbands (who were for some reason armed) jumped in a shot each other. I think the kids would have rather had their dad's for Christmas than that set of jumbo legos for $19.99. Not to mention the poor guy who was trampled at a Walmart by people trying to get to the cheap t.v.'s

What is wrong with people?!

Look, I want my kids to have a nice Christmas just like everyone else but not at the expense of others. If my kids can't get that high dollar item or if they only get a sweater and a box of goldfish, they should be thankful. If they are not then lack of money is the least of my worries. Wow, I just had a vision of what would happen if my kids only got a sweater and a box of goldfish for Christmas...shudder. We are fortunate and they usually get what they want (within reason)or need but I'm thinking this year we really need to have a sit down and remind each other why we even celebrate Christmas. I don't want my kids to grow up and be these crazy adults who feel like they have to shoot or trample their way to get to that *one thing* their kids have to have. It's madness. If I had it to do all over again I would have only gotten my kids 3 gifts a year for Christmas. It's too much pressure on parents to try and go bigger and better than the year before. Especially when they are struggling to pay their bills as it is. It's just sad. People shouldn't die over doorbusters.

That is all.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

What Coffee and Tylenol PM Do Not Do

They do not cancel each other out. The coffee wins. For some reason I can drink coffee all day long and go right to sleep if I decide to take a nap but if I drink coffee after 9 p.m. it really works like coffee should work and keeps me from sleeping.
Last night I decided to counter the coffee with a dose of Tylenol PM. Ha! What now Folgers?! Did not work. I tossed and turned until about 2 a.m. So I was laying in bed and this is what my mind was thinking...

*Am I laying crooked? Because if I am laying crooked and I do finally get to sleep then the hubby will wake me up when he comes in here and make me move over, waking me up and then I won't be able to go back to sleep.

*All da girls standing in da line for da bathroom.

*Cyber Monday? I didn't get it. All I saw was an offer for free shipping. I can shop at the store and not have to pay for shipping.

*Basketball pictures Thursday...don't forget. Oh man, I meant to write something else down for Monday but didn't because I didn't think I would forget...what was it?

*I forgot to wash my face

*Where is the dog? Hope I didn't leave him outside.

*All da girls standing in da line for da bathroom.

*I hope Corinne gets voted out on Survivor this week.

*If I bought a big scarf for a Christmas gift would someone really wear it or would it be re-gifted...

*I wonder what would happen if the government just pardoned everyone's debt and let us all keep our stuff and start over. That would be great.

*All da girls...UGH! SHHHHHH.

*Not going to take Tylenol PM with coffee anymore.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Oh Yeah, That's Why

Every year I get sooo excited about the yummy food that is served at Thanksgiving and every year I ask myself, "Why don't we cook this yummy food all year long?!! It's the most yummy food on the planet and we wait until Thanksgiving to cook it..it just doesn't make sense."

And then Thanksgiving comes and I eat yummy food for Thanksgiving and the same yummy food leftovers for lunch the next day and then yummy Thanksgiving food from my mother in laws for dinner and then yummy leftover leftovers for lunch the next day..and then my kids decide we should cook yummy Thanksgiving food on Saturday for ourselves and so we do and we eat yummy food on Saturday and finish off the yummy food after church on Sunday.

If I have to eat one more plate of yummy Thanksgiving food before Thanksgiving next year I will cry and barf.

That is why we only have yummy Thanksgiving food once a year.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Yo Martha

It's the year of the Chinese Christmas. I have 3 parties (and counting) that I have to find a man and woman gift $25 or less. This sounds like a great idea until you have to start shopping for it. It wouldn't be so bad if I had a nose for perfume or any fashion sense but what I think smells o.k. really stinks and I still wear the same clothes I bought 5 years ago. I don't know what a cute purse looks like. The one I carry is hanging on by a thread. Partly because it is so old that I don't even remember when or where I got it and partly because my dog chewed on the strap and it's hanging on by a thread but I don't care for I think purses are just another something I have to keep up with.

I could go with the standard candle, picture frame or warm cozy blanket but that isn't a ton of fun.

So, I'm searching for ideas. I need someone with Martha Stewart Super Hero Powers to come to my rescue and share some cool ideas with me.

Hmmm




Would this be an inappropriate gift for a lady at our annual Christmas Deacon Dinner? Shouldn't everyone own a belly dancer coin wrap?

Black Friday Haze

It's all a blur. I guess I should recap Thanksgiving since I didn't even mention it. I was going to take some fabulous pictures of the get together but my kid stole the batteries out of my camera. In short, the food was great...Sandy's hair is really long...Kayla pulled out into traffic and cut someone off and Toby almost wet himself (don't ask me again why my kid doesn't have her license yet ;) Football, Pumpkin Pie, Heath is tubby, filling your plate to overflowing always seems like a good idea at the time...grandmother...and mom deleted her blog? whew.

So, I woke up early on Thanksgiving because I knew that I needed to go to bed early for Black Friday Shopping! The problem: we didn't get home until after 10 p.m. and I wasn't sleepy. Talked to Casey and we decided we would leave my house at 3:30 A.M. We made this decision around 11:30 p.m. Do the math people. That is not enough sleep even if we had been in bed 3 hours earlier.

Now, at 3:30 in the morning, pulling your hair in a ponytail, wearing little to no make-up and dressing like a bum seems reasonable. Who dresses up at 3:30 in the morning? exactly. The problem arises around 8 a.m. when the people who waited a little longer and spent more time making themselves presentable start to show up. I'm not saying they were judging me but I was more than a little relieved when I saw others like me who were roaming around in their pre-4 a.m. fashions.

If you add all that together: very little sleep, no makeup, bad clothes and being old...come 11 a.m. or so it all starts to melt together and you don't have to look in the mirror to know what you look like. I do not do well without my sleep. I could feel the skin sliding off my face. I knew that I was starting to zone out while standing in those long lines and my jaw was starting to sag, my eyes were closing and I was hoping that I wasn't drooling but at that point didn't really care. Casey of course was still looking great with her 20 something year old self. Whatever.

I did get some great deals.

There is just something about not getting enough sleep that makes you sleepy/tired but unable to sleep. I walked around in a daze for the rest of the day yesterday. It was fun though. Fun in that I saved some money kinda way.

I do need to give a shout out to my new friend John at Walmart. He went above and beyond the call of duty and made sure I got something for free. Good job John. There may be a Christmas card in your future.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Turn It Up!

I have added a medley of fabulous Christmas tunes to this blog so turn up your volume and you're welcome.

Did You Hear That?

That loud groaning wailing panicing noise of sheer helplessness, fear, and distress that just broke the sound barrier was me...a mom...who just found out that instead of the customary 3 day Thanksgiving break from school, her kids will be home for the entire week of Thanksgiving. THE ENTIRE WEEK?! What happened to advance notice? Shouldn't parents get to vote on this stuff? Yes, I know you sent home a calendar at the beginning of the school year but who really reads it?

Now I love the idea of sleeping late...it's the getting up and finding something for 3 bored kids to do to pass the time that is not my favorite.

I'm bored
I'm hungry
Can we go somewhere
I don't want to clean
She isn't cleaning as much as me
I had t.v. first
It's too cold to play outside
I'm bored
Can we go to the mall
Can we go to the park
I'm bored
I said it was my turn to use the computer next
Shut up, no, you shut up, no you shut up
WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP
I'm bored
Why do we have to go to bed...there is no school tomorrow...and it's only 6:00
There is nothing to do

Did you hear that? It was me again.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

You Know You Watch Too Much CSI When...

You see a shoe in the middle of the road and think:

Maybe I should go back and make sure someone hasn't been hit by a car and is lying in the ditch waiting to be rescued

You spit your gum out the window and think:

I sure hope that doesn't end up being some kind of crime scene. They will find my gum and I will be a prime suspect!

You are cooking dinner and pour blood from the meat down the sink and think:

If I disappear today they will find that blood and think I was murdered. But then they will take it to the lab and figure out it is just bovine blood.

Yes, I have really thought all of these things. :D

The Traveling Pants

First of all I would like to say that if you have 3 kids a dog and a husband it is probably not the best idea in the world to have your kids do their own laundry. Why you ask? Well, the amount of laundry that flows through this house is enormous and kids who are only willing to wash what they wear the next day do not get very much accomplished...leaving piles of unwashed and neglected/rejected laundry lying everywhere...waiting.

So, in an effort to regain some sort of control over the mess that is threatening to bury my dog alive, I have been trying to get laundry done today.

Now...a few posts back I mentioned the khaki pant crusade. We are past that but we still have the old pants that were too small. Well, every time I have done laundry for the past month, these too small khaki pants have been in the laundry pile. I have washed them and put them back up and I have just hung them back up and stuck them in the closet (because I know that noone has worn them). So I'm starting on my laundry again today and what is in the pile? Yeah, those crazy khaki pants! What is going on? I keep putting them up and they keep reappearing in the laundry. Are my kids messing with me? Are the pants haunted?

I think I will probably give them away since they were barely worn but should I give someone a pair of haunted pants? Will I be under the "full disclosure" law and have to attach a warning to the pants for the next owner...just so they will know that the pants can and will walk themselves back into the laundry pile when you aren't looking? I could burn them and just rid the world of the scariness of it all but then what if I find them in the laundry again the next day...like 'Christine' the scary car movie that fixed itself everytime someone tried to destroy it. I just don't think I could handle that much creepy.

Or maybe, I'm just imagining it all because my brain is rejecting the idea of cleaning.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Round One

Ridgeland Panthers defeat the Atlanta-Carver Panthers in round one of the State Playoffs! The scoreboard says that there are still a few minutes left but the score didn't change and it was starting to rain and making me freeze so we started walking. The game was very good but the half time show was so much fun to watch! I could have gotten more of the show but I just had my regular camera and my memory card isn't really big and I had HAD Ridgeland coming in at the beginning of the game but I accidentally erased it. :( You'll just have to use your imagination or watch Drum Line...

From The Stands...

Sports bring out the obnoxious in parents...it is a sickness. You can try to be different and composed but eventually you will give in and spend a full hour of your life screaming at 12-14 year old kids like they can A.) hear you or B.) care

A sampling of what could be heard from the stands...from me...at Jordan's game yesterday...

HUSTLE LADIES!
WHERE IS THE COVERAGE?!
WHY CAN'T YOU SHOOT LAYUPS?!
TURN AROUND!
TAKE THE BALL AWAY FROM HER!
MAKE HER FOUL YOU! (aimed at the only really good player on the other team who had 4 fouls on her and one more would have put her on the bench :) )
TAKE IT ALL THE WAY IN! DON'T STOP AT THE 3 POINT LINE!
OH MI GOSH!! UGH!!

I would say that isn't so bad seeing as how it is too loud to hear much of anything since everyone is screaming at once...but I did hear from behind me...

PUNCH HER IN THE FACE!

I think that was coming from another kid though, not a parent. I think.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Bailout Fatigue

I don't know about you but I'm getting pretty tired of all this money being thrown around. Now they want to bail out the auto makers? Umm, GM was going under before the melt-down so why exactly does the government feel like they should give them a loan? I understand the job loss and such but if they can't make money then how is throwing more money at them going to help?

I'm also annoyed because AIG has set aside 6 million dollars for employee bonuses! And they were supposed to list where all this money was going and have yet to do so. And the banks that have been given money so far are just sitting on it. And NOW they are saying that instead of putting money in into housing they are going to give more money to the banks to stimulate loans. Hello? Who has enough credit left to get a loan? If you still have that credit then you don't need a stinkin' loan. Keeping in mind that it is not the governments money they are giving away...it's tax payer money. Where does it end? We already have different States wanting money from the government because of their own financial issues.

This bailout was a really really bad idea.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Hot Off The Presses!



Jordan wants these shoes for her birthday and I found them here:

http://www.shoeshow.com/Mountain-Creek-Wallabee-P11692C5.aspx?imgbase=748148

Do any of the grandparents want to buy them for her? :D

Why Is These Fries Cold?

I was running late to Mamaw's yesterday so I had to stop and pick her up a corn dog and fries at Krystal. It was really a shame that I couldn't stay longer because she was Hilarious!

Mamaw: (after eating her corndog) Why is these fries cold?
Me: Well they weren't cold when I bought them...maybe you just waited too long to eat them!
Mamaw: No, I think you just didn't cook them long enough.
Me: Well, I was in a rush and ended up having to take the dog with me to run my errands because he wouldn't come in the house....I just went through the drive thru to get your lunch...next time I will tell them to make sure the fries are good and hot. Do you want me to heat them up?
Mamaw: NO! You'll heat my whole plate up!
Me: No, I can put them on a napkin and heat them up.
Mamaw: Awww, you're silly. (Eats all but about 5 fries) Here, you can have the rest of 'em.
Me: Gee, thanks Mamaw. I don't want your cold fries!
Mamaw: heeheeheehee...well, you should have cooked them longer then!
Me: I didn't...nevermind.
Mamaw: (look of concern on her face) You didn't let the dog eat out of my food did you?
Me: Uh, NO!
Mamaw: I bet you did! Why else would you be laughing so?
Me: Umm, I didn't and because you are being hilarious!
Mamaw: Heeheehee...You did.
Me: I don't let animals eat my people food. That is gross. That is why I don't have cats...they climb on the counters and stick their faces in your food.
Mamaw: Shoo Weee! I don't want any cats! You're mama sure likes 'em though.
Me: Sandy has about 12 cats!
Mamaw: Woooo Weeee! What does a body do with that many cats?
Me: I don't know. I think one of her cats had kittens and they couldn't bare to get rid of them so they had them all fixed and kept them.
Mamaw: WooooWeeee! That is a lot of fixin'!
Me: Yeah, I know! They have a ton of chickens too.
Mamaw: Did they fix them?
Me: haha..I don't think you can fix a chicken can you?
Mamaw: Sure you can. You wring their heads off!
Me: ROTFLMBO!! I guess that would fix just about anything!
Mamaw: My mom used to do that. Just grab them by the neck...twist it around like this (showing movements) a few times and their heads pop clean off!
Me: So, do chickens really run around after you pop their heads off?
Mamaw: Whaaat? I never seen one do that.
Me: Well, people say they "run around like a chicken with their head cut off" I was just wondering if that was true.
Mamaw: Well, not after my mama wrung their necks they weren't runnin' around.

That is all I can remember.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I Wanna Be Like Mike



Yay! I got the video to work! I have other segments of this game but don't want to push my luck. Yes, in case you didn't know...Jordan is multi-talented. She can be a band geek / basketball player. They cancel each other out. They lost this game and if you add an hour to this running back and forth with noone scoring you have basically seen the entire game.

Christmas Concert



This was from the 6th Grade Christmas Concert last year. This year Jade will be in it also in case some of you would like to come. It's pretty entertaining watching these kids play and hearing 'squeeeaakk' when they hit a wrong note.

Guilty Pleasures

I used to stay at home from 12-4 every single day because I didn't want to miss one single second of my Soap Operas. Totally over it. Have been for quite a while. Don't even care anymore who's pregnant with who's dead ex-husbands baby who will show up un-dead right when she is fixing to marry the man of her dreams.

But...

I have 2 new shows that are even better and considered 'can't miss'

Show #1 - The Amazing Race

Amazing is quite accurate! I love this show! I love watching people get mad at each other and fight over airline tickets and plot/scheme/lie to each other. It's Great! It saddens me that I could never be on this show..even though I think I could do it. It's just a fact of life that Rocky is way too high strung to be in a competition..with me..the 'have to nap every 6 hours' girl. And since there are so many maps you have to follow we would probably end up punching each other in the face since he won't ask directions and I always pick the wrong way...Seriously, I can have 2 choices, left or right, and always pick the wrong one. And if I try to out-smart myself and choose the way I think is 'wrong' just to get it right...I'm still wrong. It's useless. I have been on the fence as to who I am rooting for up until now but I think I have chosen this couple:



They are nice to everyone

So there's that one...

#2 - Survivor

Now I know that there can be some vile people on this show and they walk around in their underwear a lot but I can't help but love it. I just cheer for the good guys! It's almost down to the wire and there are some really really bad players this year. All the bad players are voting out all the good players first! It's crazy! My favorites are Matty and Sugar. Yes, Sugar. She is a pin up model or something..haha But she is really nice and not nasty so don't hate. Matty has crazy hair and competes well.

Those are my favorite shows. That and all flavors of CSI, Law and Order, and that new show The Mentalist. Lisa also has me hooked on Lost but it hasn't started again yet.

Now you can all rest better knowing what I watch on t.v.

Monday, November 10, 2008

I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day

Do you ever go to bed thinking, "Tomorrow, tomorrow I am really really gonna get some stuff done" and then you get up and think, "It can wait until tomorrow." Of course you do. I know who reads this blog.

I think I have decided to let my kids wash their own clothes. I'm over them going to bed talking about how they "don't have anything clean" when I spend most of my life trying to make sure they have clean clothes and it's not my fault that they leave their dirty clothes piled up in their bedroom like I'm going to collect it while cleaning their rooms and making their food. Does anyone know me? Do they not realize that I had to figure out how to mop a floor and wash clothes after I got married and how I washed dishes ONE TIME when I was a kid because I was being punished? My point being...I DON'T LIKE TO CLEAN EITHER! Yes, we are all slobs but I feel like I can be a slob because I am the one who will eventually clean. They, on the other hand, are slobs who do not clean. I win.

And my van. I drive the van. Therefore I have very little opportunity to make a mess in there because I'm busy keeping her on the road. So how then does my van look like it threw up 2 months worth of garbage? Why is there laundry in my van? Hello? Why is there popcorn on my dashboard? And why oh why are all the pennies in my change tray stuck together into one big change blob? What exactly made the sticky? Oh if I could only read the minds of the teachers who open the door to let my kids in after school.

I have seen those "clean house" shows. I have seen those people cringe and mock vomit over way less than what my house looks like. It's not for lack of trying and if it makes you feel better it's mostly new nasty since I do spend most of my life cleaning in circles to no avail. I have openly admited that were I to walk into a house that looks like mine usually looks, I would not let my kids spend the night there. Shameful? I don't know. Talk to the non-cleaning slobs because I'm feelin' pretty guilt free about the whole thing.

Now back to my 'do your own laundry' reservations. I'm just wondering who has to sort out the clothes and how much laundry detergent I'm going to have to buy before they realize that you don't have to put a full cap into a load with 2 pairs of jeans. It's a headache either way. I have heard from many parents that their kids do their own laundry so it must not be child abuse. Are we going to have to make a laundry schedule? Why is my head already hurting? No. I have made up my mind. Operation 'Do Your Own Stinkin' Laundry' is about to launch. Lord give me strength. It's fixin' to get ugly in the Bradford Crib.

Too bad I have a short attention span and will probably call off 'Operation Do Your Own Stinkin' Laundry' in a week or so because it's easier to just do it and get it over with. Don't Judge. And Don't tell my kids that I am planning an exit strategy before I even begin. Terrorists DO NOT need to know your exit strategy (O*cough*Bama)

That is all.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Deliciously Disgusting

I just ate my weight in peanut M & M's. My dog even looked at me like he was ashamed of me and sometimes he eats his own poo. <----that was nasty eh? haha

My intention was to show you a video of Jordan playing basketball tonight but it wasn't working and I got over it. We lost. But the score was 3-4 and it wasn't because both teams were amazing at defense...:/

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Khaki Schmaki

Just an update:

I went to Old Navy and they didn't have her size.

So I came back home...waited for her to get out of BB practice and went back to the mall. Just so happens...Santa Claus came to town at the mall today so what was already a crowded area was aggrivated by swarms of toddlers waiting to see the jolly fat man.
Ended up going to American Eagle who had khaki's but they were $24.99 so we checked Aeropostle and they had left over school uniform khaki's on sale for $14.99 and I was super excited until I found out it was just the left over sizes...in which, they had a size 1/2 but in 'short' only.
So we got the American Eagle pants. I didn't see them any cheaper at Walmart and I didn't have time to order online. Also, I'm out of gas again and Jordan was grumpy. Finding them 5 dollars cheaper just didn't seem worth it. :D
Oh, and the kicker...picked up Jade from school and told her we couldn't go to the library because I had to get Jordan's khaki's and she said, "Oh, I need some for band"
Curses!! I would order hers online but she needs odd sizes too. So, as soon as I get the pen I just shoved into my eyeball healed up...I will be going back to the mall.

Kayla's Blog

http://kayla-blahblahblog.blogspot.com/

Sufferin' Sucatash

RMS Basketball Coaches:

Dear Mrs. Bradford,

We are very pleased that your child made the RMS Basketball team! We are looking forward to a great year. Now what we need from you is to buy your child a pair of khaki pants in the winter when no one sales khaki pants unless they are on the clearance rack and are capri's or size one million and have them by this Friday since 3 days notice is perfectly reasonable. We realize that your child is an abnormally tall and thin girl who winces at the thought of a pair of pants that rise above her ankles when she sits down and is too small for a size 2 but too tall for a size 1 and too short for a size 1/tall without stepping all over her brand new khaki's and soiling them beyond repair.
The good news is, Walmart carries khaki pants and they are only $12 what we failed to mention is that this is in the kids department and a child your age probably...no, more than likely...can no longer wear these sizes but hey, it sounds nice, yes? Now, Mrs. Bradford, what you have to do is drive all around the country since we gave you zero time to order something online and use all your gas making whatever you might happen to find cost an extra $10 to put more gas in your tank and if you don't your child will not only not match the rest of the team but will also be humiliated and have to wear her old, too short, size 0 khaki pants that no longer fit her. And, as an added bonus, we will keep your kid in basketball practice until 5:30 every day this week to make sure you will have to fight the after work crowds no matter where you go.

Congratulations!
RMS Coaches

Dear RMS Coaches,

How about you just shoot me in the face and we will call it even?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Bradford

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Baby Got Back

I have to say that I just cannot wait until the low low low rise jeans are out of fashion. I was at church tonight and saw 1 crack, 2 Hanes waistbands and 4 kids continuously checking to make sure their backside was covered when they sat down.

If you can't kneel down at the alter to pray without mooning the crowd...your pants are too low.
If you can't get out of a car without mooning your mom...your pants are too low.
If you can't sit in a chair without having to hang your jacket on the back to keep from showing your underwear or booty...your pants are too low.

I can't totally blame the consumer. I have a really hard time finding pants for my kids that are high enough. They fit well when you are standing in front of the dressing room mirror but after wearing those puppies for a couple of hours...they start to stretch and I really don't care who you are...that is not a flattering look.

Speaking of pants. If anyone can give me any ideas of where I can find a size 2 khaki pant for Jordan without paying out the nose I would appreciate it. She has to have some for basketball. I guess they are wearing khaki's and team shirts when they play out of town, which I respect because at least they are trying to make the kids look nice but they obviously have never had to shop for a kid that is too tall for kids sizes and too skinny for adult sizes.

Time

Who was the genius that decided our days needed to be measured out in time? I think I could be more productive if there were no clocks. Of course we need our day and night...that isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about having to go to bed at a certain time because I have to get up early in the morning. I work better at night! But then, I stay up late...can't get up...finally get up but am very sleepy so I take a nap...stay up late...can't get up...etc. etc. You get the point.

What if we could just say, 'you have to work 8 hours today...don't care when...just get your 8' and do the same thing with school and appointments. Everything open 24 hours..walk in only.

I just think that would be amazing.

I would sleep from 6 a.m. - 3 p.m. because nothing good is on t.v. and there is nothing to do. Keeping in mind that in my world you can go to the bank and the doctor or work or whatever..whenever you felt like it so sleeping til 3 would be totally fine.

Anyway, time for my nap. :))

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

State of the Union

Statement made tonight by a teenager...

I can't wait to get home and watch the election!
Obama...Obama...Obama...(hands clapping)
If he wins, we will get EVERYTHING FREE!

And there we are.

Congrats my fellow Americans. You have elected one Barak Obama for your President. Now get in line and get your free stuff.

Ode To George

Georgie Porgie Puddin' Pie
You always made the Democrats cry
When you took office...tragedy struck
You showed the world that Texans had guts

They didn't find the WMD's
But you did hunt down and destroy some sand fleas
You were patient when the protesters wailed
I would have made them take showers and put them in jail

You choked on a pretzel and people made fun
You fell off your mountain bike, you should probably just run
It cracks me up when you get tickled
I like to see your shoulders wiggle

Hollywood seems to think you're dumb
Which only leaves me thinking, ummmm
Shut up and entertain me nitwit
You shouldn't speak unless you're reading a script.

I have watched you age in the past 8 years
I'm sure you're probably tired
But if McCain gets elected you can rest
Sarah Palin can see Russia from her yard

Farewell my friend
You will be missed
If Obama wins
We'll be communists
But just to leave it on a happy note
Yee-Haw, happy trails, and don't forget to vote!!

Lifetime Movie Network For Women

Anyone who knows me knows that I get hyper-obsessed with something until I get over it and I find something else to obsess over. Lately it has been HGTV, The Food Channel and The Vacation channel. Well, I'm over it. So...I have been searching for something new. I like the old movie channel unless it is a war movie or a western. Since that is what was showing this morning I decided to switch over to the Lifetime Movie Network for Women. I'm perplexed.

What makes this channel for women? Here's a sampling of the line up....

A woman marries a man who she thought was a good guy but he turns out to be a pshyco killer...so she kills him

A woman works for a doctor that she thinks is a good guy, turns out he kills his patients and stalks her...so she kills him.

A woman's child is kidnapped...she hunts him down....and kills him

A woman is raped...the guy gets off....she kills him

A husband cheats on his wife....she kills him

A woman cheats on her husband...totally not her fault...he was probably gonna kill her, right?

A kid has an eating disorder...which in my opinion is just a movie to teach kids how to successfully have an eating disorder...good news? no one dies (most of the time)

I kinda feel bad for the unsuspecting husband that comes home to a wife who has watched these movie marathons all day.

"Honey, supper is cold" BAM...she kills him.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'm Quitting School...

I picked Kayla up from school a couple of weeks ago and she said, "I'm quitting school, it costs too much to graduate." I agreed. She is quitting tomorrow.

haha. not really.

Seriously though, dang. Senior year is ridiculous expensive...if you want your kid to have
Senior Pictures - approx. $300-400 (plus a $75 sitting fee)
A Cap and Gown - $40
Graduation Invitations (and all the stuff that goes with them) - $160
Senior Prom - $200-300
Yearbook - $50 etc... (And these are only the necessities)
And could one of you guys buy this poor kid a car?

Hope you have an extra $Grand$ or so laying around when your kid is a Senior or at least plenty of candles and bottled water when your utilities get shut off. lol
note to self: pay power bill today before 5.

Btw, I ordered the 'Poor Boy Package' of invitations so I may have to ask you to read the invitation, re-seal the envelope and forward it to the next address.

And to think, this is my easy one. Jordan and Jade will graduate back to back.
Wonder if it is too late to start home schooling?

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Things That Annoy Me

Walmart on a Saturday
Running out of toilet paper
Putting down my ink pen and 2 seconds later finding the remains where my dog ate it
When the sheet pops off the matress
Getting excited about cooking something good but it requires milk and the milk is gone
Forgetting to wash my hair while I'm in the shower
Running out of coffee
Having to keep useless paperwork because one day..maybe in 10 years or never..you might need it
Being told at 7 a.m. by a kid that they 'don't have anything clean to wear to school'.
Cell Phones
People who spend $500 on a t-shirt
Bees
Spiders
Pumping Gas

To Be Continued...

Ms. Grumpy Pants

Yesterday at Mamaws...

Me: Hi Mamaw
Mamaw: Hey, why are you here?
Me: I'm here to see you and I thought you might be hungry...want some lunch?
Mamaw: Well, if I knew who's house I was in, maybe. I had to hunt for the bathroom. Who are these people who live with me.
Me: This is your house. No one lives here with you. Darla spends the night.
Mamaw: Why?
Me: Errrr
Me: Did mom come see you yesterday?
Mamaw: I don't know
Me: She brought you some HOT Taco Bell didn't she?
Mamaw: Oh, yeah. Look of disdain. Why do they keep moving me?
Me: They don't, this is your house.
Mamaw: giving me the crooked one eye stare, OH! PHHUUMP.
Me: So...you hungry?
Mamaw: Well, I guess, there probably isn't anything to eat though.
Me: I'll go check it out...back to the living room...You have some Chick-Fil-A Nuggets in there
Mamaw: Oh. Goody.
Me: hehe, huh? Are you being sassy?
Mamaw: Crooked eye stare
Me: Or, you have some cup 'o soup.
Mamaw: That sounds good.
After Lunch and Back to The Chair
Me: Have you listened to any good tapes?
Mamaw: NO
Me: Hmm, o.k. Turning the tape on anyway....
After a few minutes of awkward conversation
Me: Well, I have to go pick up a kid. Darla will be here soon!
Mamaw: I'm getting sick of being moved. You tell them to quit moving me so much.
Me: Okey Dokey.

So...Stop moving Mamaw. She is getting grumpy about it. :p

Monday, October 27, 2008

When You Live In RossVegas

People make fun of my town a lot but there is at least one reason you gotta love it...

After cleaning mom's kitchen/deck today...and after picking Jade up from school and taking Kayla to work, I decided to come home and nap for an hour until it was time to pick up Jordan at basketball practice.
Of course I was running a few minutes late, as usual. Still had on my cleaning clothes...hoodie and very baggie sweatpants topped off with a greasy ponytail. It wasn't until I got to school that I remembered that there was a Parent Meeting for all the basketball kids! Ugh.
Since I was late already I couldn't come home and change so I had to dig around in the van for a pair of jeans (which I found..don't judge..I knew they would come in handy) and run into the cafeteria hoping no one would notice that my hoodie was dusty, my hair was greasy and the jeans I had on were about 3 inches too short for me. Turns out, the meeting was very unnecessary and no one seemed too repulsed at my appearance which brings me to why I love my town...80% of the people look like I did today on purpose so when I get caught off guard it's o.k.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Toby's Baaack

I'm super duper excited about the WinterJam Tour this year. I just had to share the lineup and remind you that the tickets are only $10 at the door! Hello?! $10. Now the down side is the line that you have to get in early and stand in until the doors open to ensure you get in. Ok, I'm getting ahead of myself. Who will be there?

TOBY MAC
HAWK NELSON
NewSong (since they host it)
Brandon Heath?
Stephanie Smith? (there are always a couple of new artists to open up while everyone is coming in)
And the speaker:
TONY NOLAN

It's Jan. 9th at the UTC Arena (in case you are as super duper pumped as I am)

Now, my first thought was to ditch the youth group and just take my kids and see if you guys wanted to come too! I'll have to confirm that I can ditch the youth group though. We probably won't be doing a winter retreat so we may have to do this with them. But, even if that is the case...we can still all meet up. If you have never seen Toby Mac in concert...your life is not complete.

Now, a hilarious story:
A couple of years ago we took the youth and since we had to wait for people to get off of work and kids to get out of school, we didn't get there until 5:30 ish. The line on both sides of the arena was backed up to the projects. It was crazy crowded. So our bus guy let us out at the front on the sidewalk and we were gathering up to walk to the way far far far away back of the line....low and behold, God showed His favor upon us and opened up a new second line just for us, because we are Shiloh and Jesus loves us mostly. So, we took it. Walked up the steps and were almost at the very front. Well, apparently this blessing was not recieved well with a church group beside us who had obviously been standing in line for 2-3 hours to get that coveted spot.

They were all: Oh, huh uh. We have been here since creation and it's not fair that you jump ahead of everyone else.

Me and all the kids: Whistling...did you hear that? Hear what? Thinking: Omg, are we fixing to have a church group fight?

Rocky: Ma'am, Sirs, this line opened. We didn't break. We just got in the line.

Disgruntled and Obviously Not Right with Jesus Church People: You can't just get up in the front like that...most of us are church groups and that is just not right when we have been here longer.

Me and all the kids in our football type huddle: I'll take the big lady...you girls, take the other girls and maybe some of the smaller guys....boys, take the guys and grown men. Ready? BREAK!

Rocky: Look, we don't want anyone to be mad..blah blah blah...yadda yadda...we aren't moving. Rocky is an excellent discussion haver when people are disgruntled.

So we have ourselves a stand off.

Me & very nervous church kids: Just don't look them in the eye. Keep your heads down and look straight ahead. Me: I'm moving to the front and leaving the boys in back to take the first blows...who's with me?

Not a moment too soon, the doors opened up...we all got in safely and sat in a sweet spot away from the haters.

Who says Christian concerts are boring?

Since We Are All NUTS...

I was inspired by the discussion about how we are all NUTS so I took it upon myself to find out what kind of nut I really am. I took this quiz: http://www.hotfact.com/what-kind-of-nut-are-you.html

And as it turns out, I am exactly the nut I predicted I would be...

a. Peanut—Down-to-earth, no-nonsense and self-assured. With a good sense of humor and a healthy dose of level-headed perspective, you’re a true blue, classic nut, who can stand alone or mix well with everyone.

I am very curious to see what kind of NUTS the rest of you are.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I Remember...

I remember the time when dad took us to some random playground and we were on the merry go round. It was some sort of bug with antennas and Lisa was holding on to those antennas...and we were all, "push faster daddy, faster faster faster faster" and Lisa was all, "I CAN'T HOLD ON..I'M GONNA FALL." and we were still, "so. Faster daddy faster faster faster." and then Lisa was slung off. We didn't get to stay long after that. Thanks Lisa. :-p

Edit: It was Nikki, not Lisa who fell off. Lisa is officially off the hook for ruining a perfectly fun merry-go-round ride.

I Like...

I like the colors on the 'Bonny Hunt Show' set but I can't find anything that will tell me what the colors are called so I can buy them. I can't even find a picture of it to show you what I'm talking about. You can see them a little bit if you go to the website but they are all on videos. If you can find this out for me, that would be great. And just to juice up the pot a little, I'm giving away a free bag of tootsie rolls to the first person who can get me this information!

I just threw up a little in my mouth



I just don't know what to say. Well, that isn't entirely true. I can't think of anything nice to say. In case you can't tell, that is Barak Obama's face.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I Like...

These shoes...
This Jacket...
And these shoes...
Been web-surfing at Target again. Don't you think they are cute or should I watch more "What not to wear"?


I Voted!

I took advantage of the early voting option and cast my ballot today! Yay! Election day is going to be madness. Guess who I voted for?! haha

I Remember...

I remember when Lisa got a perm and her hair was bigger than her body.

Try-outs

This week is basketball try-outs at Rossville Middle School. Jordan and Jade are both doing it. There are 50+ girls trying to get on the basketball team!! Last year they barely had enough to fill the Varsity and JV but this year they are having 3 cuts. I'm sick nervous about it. I want them both to make it. They both try really hard. But, what makes me sick nervous is that I'm afraid one will make it and one won't. That will be sad. I would almost rather them both get cut. bad mommy. I feel a life-lesson moment coming on. Or maybe I'm just underestimating the fabulousness of my kids?!

I'll let ya know how it goes!

On the plus side, report cards came out at the Middle School. Jade made all A's and Jordan made Honor Roll. Still waiting on Kayla's.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Remember me...

I get a kick out of funny tombstone sayings like this:

I told you that I was sick!-- Georgia Cemetary, USA

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.-- Pennsylvania Tombstone, USA

Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les No More.-- Tombstone Arizona

So, with this in mind, I was in Sunday School a few weeks ago and the Scripture was covering 1 Samuel 4. I have read most of the Bible but this was not something I noticed before. I laughed out loud and disrupted the class but I thought it was hilarious. The Scripture read:

18
And it came to pass, when he made mention of the ark of God, that he fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his neck brake, and he died: for he was an old man, and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years.

Now isn't this how all of us would like to be remembered? Old and fat? Do you think poor Eli knew that one of the last words said about him would mention him being a Fatty McFatFat?

I don't think I want to know what comes to mind when people think about me. :-p

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Lost Photos










These are a few pictures I took but they got lost on the computer.