Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Second Degree Creepiness

It was a dark and stormy night... Not really. That is just how most creepy stories start.

I have been sick for the past few days so I haven't really wanted anything to do with the computer but I just had to tell you about this guy, for 2 reasons really

1. Because it is entertaining
2. So there will be some sort of record on file if and when I have to press charges. haha

When my kids play outside they think it is hilarious when one of them comes in first and locks the door so the other one can't get in. Of course then they have to knock and knock until someone notices and opens the door for them.

So, it didn't seem odd when I heard a knock on the door a couple of days ago because they had been playing outside and because it wasn't a normal -knockknockknock- tap that strangers use when they knock on your door...it was more of a -KNoCKknockKnoCKKNOCK- funny knock that people who are familiar with you and your house use. You know what I mean. Just think about it for a second.
Anyway, had it been the regular stranger knock I would have totally looked outside before opening the door and probably not bothered to answer it but since it was a funny knock I thought it was a kid so I opened the door right up. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that I had on my p.j.'s and my hair hadn't even been brushed yet..nevermind that it was 4 p.m....don't judge. I only tell you that because that would have been another reason not to open the door for a stranger.

In true Ralphie fashion, my dog goes nuts when someone knocks on the door so when I opened it he was right there ready to tear someone's face off (or jump up and down in the air like Michael Jordan on crack) After grabbing the dog I look up and there stood a StRaNgEr! Holy Cow! That was unexpected. At first I thought he might be the repo man but they don't knock do they? LOL

Anyway, I was all...ummmm, hi?
And he says, "hehe, Ralphie sure is a good guard dog isn't he?"

Now, at this point I was a little more relieved because who would know my dogs name if they didn't know someone in my family, right? wrong! So of course I was all, "haha, yeah right. Hardly a guard dog" and then he asks if Rocky is home.

So ok...he knows my dogs name and he knows Rocky. Whew. Then Rocky is all..."Grrr, who is that, Grrr." He likes strangers coming over as much as me..and he was playing the XBOX and who likes to be interrupted when they are playing the XBOX? Nobody, that's who! And I was all, "IDK..some guy asking for you." I wasn't worried. Rocky knew this guy, right?

Rocky opens the door and didn't say, "HEY BROTHER!" Like he would have done if he had known the guy so again, StRaNgEr DaNgEr!

Rocky came back in and told me that it was one of the guys who had been working next door at our neighbors house and he wanted to borrow a tool. I know you are thinking, whew! that makes sense. He isn't a crazy stalker. Sure, if you discount the fact that HE KNEW MY DOG'S NAME and didn't use the stranger knock like he should have then o.k. BUT, that was 2 days ago.

This morning I let my dog out to go do his business. Even my dog has manners and uses the correct knock when he is ready to come back inside...so when he started knocking to come in I opened the door right up. I looked outside and WHO WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME AND WAVING? YES! The same creepy dude! He wasn't on my porch this time but I'm not sure that makes it any better. He was next door in my neighbor's carport...staring right at my house...into my door...and waving WAVING! YOU DO NOT KNOW ME MR. CREEPY GUY! And why are you staring at my house? Why are you not working? Are you watching us? I really need to go to the store...but do I need to take my whole family and my dog? I am not very comfortable leaving them at home now, knowing you have nothing better to do than learn my dog's name and stare at my house just in case I open the door so you can wave.

So yeah, I'm totally telling on you. Now you all know what to tell the cops if I go missing. I watch those Lifetime movies. I know that the nice-guy is hardly ever really nice. If it was just dumb luck that you happened to be staring at my house at the same moment I opened the door then my apologies but Mister, that is 2 strikes. 2 times you have creeped me out. Maybe we just live in a time when friendly = creepy. Bad luck for you I guess. One more strike and I will take you out! I just completed Kung Foo Panda on the XBOX and am feeling pretty confident about my new KungFoo skillz. Don't make me use them.

On a lighter note:
We made our rice crispie treats last night. Can you say Delicious? They don't cut into nice little squares too easy though. It's like one giant treat.

That is all.


Sandra said...

Please keep an eye on the girls when they are outside. This is just toooo wierd.
Can you mail me some krispy treats, I have beeen a little under the weather myself. I slep in my clothes last night, you know that I never, ever do that!

Nikki said...

Take a picture of him!! Video tape too!!

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

That sounds like my experience with the Canadian gangster. Remind me to tell you about him.

Oh and I did run off the Jehovah Witnesses today so if you need help telling Mr. Creepy to get lost just let me know.

Mom said...

Ummmmm....Sandy....justwhat do you sleep in?

Sandra said...

Well, PJ's. I dont really consider them clothes. What I meant was my day clothes, esp. my bra. I cant sleep in one, so if I do, you know I am sick. I know you are messing with me, but the creepie guy might get the wrong idea!!
And maybe I lied about the PJ's..maybe I dont sleep in anything! There, how'd you like that visual!! LOL

Mom said...

LOL--I'm glad you realized I was just messing with you....these girls take me much too seriously most of the time :-)

Kim said...

I hope the nice young man doesn't frequent your blog or he is going to get a complex. :)

Sandra said...

Well, he's at Christi's house, not mine. He would end up with buckshot in his butt if he hung around like that!

Mindy said...

Pretty creepy..........I never answer the door if I don't know who it is....and in our current house there is NO way to check who it is without being seen so I rarely open the door unless Ken is home....yea- people think I'm nuts I know.

Mom said...

That's the way I am, Mindy....if I'm not expecting company--then I don't go to the door.

Nikki said...

look out your window is too much trouble ain't it..so is blogging hahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Christi....you are still hilarious as always! I'm so glad I stumbled up on your blog through Lisa & facebook. I've been trying to find you. Your stories make me laugh out loud...I'll be tuning in. Join facebook and look me up. By the way, this is Michelle Reed (Pendergrass now). Take care!

Christi said...

Hi Michelle!

I was just wondering about what you had been up to the other day! I haven't seen you around in a while. I usually run into you at least every other year at Walmart.

I don't have a facebook or MySpace. Facebook looks confusing to me or maybe I just don't have enough patience for it. :D

I would love to talk to ya and find out what you have been up to lately!