Thursday, January 15, 2009

You Had Me At Dorito

I have been really good about not buying junk food lately. One reason of course is to save a little money but the other reason is because I love it a lot and if it is here I will eat it. To keep from being tempted I usually just skip the chip/snack isle all together. It is also pretty expensive (if you get the good stuff). So there you go. Saving money and eating better. Hm.

I walked into the grocery store last night thinking in my mind that I just had to get some tea, coffee, bread and cheese and you'll never guess what they did. There was a giant display of every variety of Doritos you can imagine AND it was buy 1 get 2 free! Buy 1 Get 1 free I could have probably resisted but get 2 free?! Heck no. I'm talking the display was right in front of the door. You had to walk around it to get inside. All that was left was to decide which kind I was getting!
This is where it gets ugly... I got one of those bags with 2 flavors mixed, the Chipotle Ranch and Zesty Taco..mmmmmm. My lack of willpower combined with the addictive crunch of Doritos topped with my love of all things Taco was a disaster waiting to happen and it did. Dude, I ate the whole bag. Yeah. Well, minus maybe 2-3 servings between Jordan/Jade/Ralphie (you have to feed him equal amounts of whatever you eat because he stares at you with those giant eyeballs until you give in). But yeah, the whole bag of Doritos. Shameful. I didn't even bother to eat a sandwich with them to make it appear as though it was a semi meal. And you know that it is a cosmic rule that when you eat something salty you have to wash it down with something chocolate-y. So I also had a nutty bar. ha! Dang. But yeah, that was dinner.
I'm wondering if I could sue Dorito for making a taco flavored chip. They have to know that there are people like me out there who will find that combination irresistible and eat entire bags in one sitting. I'm pretty sure Jillian Michaels would be really unhappy with me right now. I did do that one workout but I'm pretty sure a bag of Doritos and a Nutty Bar cancelled that out pretty quick. Hmmm, but, if you figure that in with the calories I saved by skipping the sandwich and washing it down with a DIET coke then maybe, just maybe, it wasn't all that bad, yes?

Speaking of Nutty Bars, I'm getting pretty tired of all this salmonella stuff getting into my peanut butter. First of all, how the heck does it keep getting in there? Maybe the people who work there had eggs for breakfast and didn't wash their hands afterwards. Maybe it is a terrorist attack on peanut butter loving Americans. I don't know. I just know that by the time I hear about the recalls I have already consumed that peanut butter sandwich or those peanut butter crackers that go really well with my morning coffee. I just think it will really stink if my cause of death is tainted peanut butter. On the other hand it would make for a pretty hilarious tomb stone

Favorite Daughter
Loving Mother
She was killed
by Peanut Butter


Mindy said...

Yea, I try not to buy dorito's for exactly that reason because I do the same the whole bag.

Sandra said...

I'm glad someone else in the family has no self control. I'm on the "cream cheese w/red pepper jelly and wheatables". Never heard of it? We will do a fancy tea sometime and I might share it with you. Then again, since I am happily eating about 1 block of cream cheese every 3 days..I may not. Too expensive.
Oh, and if you die from peanut butter poisoning, the girls can sue and get rich and not have to work at chickie lay. That just doesnt look right, but only family reads this stuff, right? HAHAHAHA

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

Your epitaph is the greatest thing I've read lately..LOLOl

And you will all forgive me and thank me if I withhold my thoughts on all the previous.

Did I tell y'all about my new t-shirt? It says 'Team Christi'.


Mom said...

All I can say, Lisa, is your day's coming!

I guess I shouldn't have wished all my trouble raising yall on you and your kids.