I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day

Do you ever go to bed thinking, "Tomorrow, tomorrow I am really really gonna get some stuff done" and then you get up and think, "It can wait until tomorrow." Of course you do. I know who reads this blog.

I think I have decided to let my kids wash their own clothes. I'm over them going to bed talking about how they "don't have anything clean" when I spend most of my life trying to make sure they have clean clothes and it's not my fault that they leave their dirty clothes piled up in their bedroom like I'm going to collect it while cleaning their rooms and making their food. Does anyone know me? Do they not realize that I had to figure out how to mop a floor and wash clothes after I got married and how I washed dishes ONE TIME when I was a kid because I was being punished? My point being...I DON'T LIKE TO CLEAN EITHER! Yes, we are all slobs but I feel like I can be a slob because I am the one who will eventually clean. They, on the other hand, are slobs who do not clean. I win.

And my van. I drive the van. Therefore I have very little opportunity to make a mess in there because I'm busy keeping her on the road. So how then does my van look like it threw up 2 months worth of garbage? Why is there laundry in my van? Hello? Why is there popcorn on my dashboard? And why oh why are all the pennies in my change tray stuck together into one big change blob? What exactly made the sticky? Oh if I could only read the minds of the teachers who open the door to let my kids in after school.

I have seen those "clean house" shows. I have seen those people cringe and mock vomit over way less than what my house looks like. It's not for lack of trying and if it makes you feel better it's mostly new nasty since I do spend most of my life cleaning in circles to no avail. I have openly admited that were I to walk into a house that looks like mine usually looks, I would not let my kids spend the night there. Shameful? I don't know. Talk to the non-cleaning slobs because I'm feelin' pretty guilt free about the whole thing.

Now back to my 'do your own laundry' reservations. I'm just wondering who has to sort out the clothes and how much laundry detergent I'm going to have to buy before they realize that you don't have to put a full cap into a load with 2 pairs of jeans. It's a headache either way. I have heard from many parents that their kids do their own laundry so it must not be child abuse. Are we going to have to make a laundry schedule? Why is my head already hurting? No. I have made up my mind. Operation 'Do Your Own Stinkin' Laundry' is about to launch. Lord give me strength. It's fixin' to get ugly in the Bradford Crib.

Too bad I have a short attention span and will probably call off 'Operation Do Your Own Stinkin' Laundry' in a week or so because it's easier to just do it and get it over with. Don't Judge. And Don't tell my kids that I am planning an exit strategy before I even begin. Terrorists DO NOT need to know your exit strategy (O*cough*Bama)

That is all.