Monday, March 30, 2009

The Vampire Slayer

Yes, that is me. I am the one person I know that has not let my kids watch *****T*W*I*L*I*G*H*T***** Apparently this translates into me being unreasonable and overprotective. Does anyone besides me see a pattern emerging here? I should sell t-shirts and start a club. OPUM - OverProtective Unreasonable Mom - Club. If I weren't the founder I would definitely be a member.

I know that some of you may be thinking that I am one of the crazy Jesus people who refuses to let her kids participate in the real world and that one day they will be wild because they were too sheltered. Ok. I'm cool with that. However, untrue that may be I do not mind being one of those Jesus people. And yes, I am a little touched in the head but you can't outgrow genetics people. Also, if my kids are going to be wild it will be of their own free will and not because their parents were too afraid to tell them No.

I guess I will, grudgingly, state my case on this subject because...well, because I'm a little bored right now and this is the only thing I could think of to blog about...just be clear that it is not because I feel like I should have to ever explain my parenting skillz because people, there are some Mad Skillz involved that the average brain cannot and will never be capable of comprehending. I don't hold a grudge against people who don't understand. I don't expect you to get it.

5 Reasons why my kids will not watch *T*W*I*L*I*G*H*T*

1. Because it is a PG-13 movie and my youngest kid is only 11. Not only will she most likely have nightmares about vampires for the next 3 months but she is underage and I do not want to break any Federal Laws. If you knew anything about Jade you would know that she is all about drama and needs no cinematic extravaganza of vampire lust to add to her list of things to obsess about.

2. I have made it a general rule in my own life to never subject my kids to anything, whether it be a movie or a book or piercings or bad fashion etc... that causes the type of obsessive behavior that is clearly CLEARLY present with this movie. When grown women wear "I love Edward" t-shirts or parents let their kids skip school so they can be the first ones to see the movie or you have 5 shirts in your wardrobe and 4 1/2 of them say something about TWILIGHT on them or When adults get angry with you because you won't let your kids watch the movie...there is a problem. For the record, I won't let my kids watch Cartoon Network after dark, or some Nickelodeon shows or Desperate Housewives or 99% of Lifetime Network movies or Law and Order SVU (I have a pretty long list). It is called discernment and I be usin' mine. It be my job as a mommy. I'm sure this is where someone in my past will point out that I was once in love/obsessed with Michael Jackson but I would like to argue that this only adds validity to my point. Luckily I outgrew it before he lost his nose.

3. Because so many people think I should let them watch it. Nothing deep here. Just don't like to be told what to do. :)

4. I do realize that vampires are fantasy like the wolf man, dracula, frankenstein...etc...but I do get a little eye twitch when it comes to the eternally damned and wondering if my kids are equating cheesy movies with Scripture. Just a little eye twitch but usually if the best answer I can come up with is "I don't know" the correct response is to just say "No". This could be another area that people will want to argue with me about to which I will go ahead and respond with: I don't care...Care I don't...Do I care? Nope...I careth not...Who me? Care? Don't think so. This is more of an informative post than a debate.

5. Rumor has it that the books progress into a "darker" theme and that their is a pretty descriptive sex scene further ahead. Now, I ask you this, are you someone who can watch part 1 of a 3 part movie and walk away satisfied to never watch the other 2 parts? Don't lie. You know you can't. So how and why would I expect my young daughters to be satisfied with the not so bad first movie knowing that I will have to fight them later when the a little worse and then the flat out not gonna happen movies come out? Why would I want to do that?

Guys, it is a vampire movie. Watch it, buy the t-shirts, marry Edward...I don't care.... I just think I will sit this one out. I truly do not believe that my kids are going to suffer if they miss this movie. If you are seeing red right now and your ears are pouring steam you may want to relax a little bit and try to figure out why you are so bent out of shape because I won't let my kids watch this movie. Think about it.

P.S. - I would be a liar if I didn't admit to be obsessed with certain shows. If you truly need to add meaning and depth to your life you should try watching the BACKYARDIGANS on Nick Jr. Best show ever!

P.P.S. - I did turn off comments for this post because it is not intended to call out any one person but to share with the planet, or the 3 people who will read this, the reasons why it is pointless to continue to TWILIGHT me. I am not calling into question anyone's character or saying that those who watch this movie are making a bad decision. I know a few perfectly brilliant Christian families that have let their kids watch this movie and have no negative feelings towards that decision at all. It really is a matter of opinion. My concern is less about this movie than the next one or the one after that. I'm just planning ahead. My decision was made before Thanksgiving of last year (before the movie but after the book obsession) so this post is not a reaction to any one event but a compilation of several TWILIGHT episodes over the past 6 months. So please do not get your feelings hurt because you think I am talking about or to you. I am talking to Edward and he understands.

Peace Out